In this age of online dating, tinder and snapchat, relationships have gone more digital than ever. With men and women working in equal proportion, investing time in the old fashioned ways of dating: meeting up, getting to know each other, going out and the proposals.
These things no longer work as people have lesser and lesser time for themselves. Hence we have the online dating sites, which have now given way to dating apps where falling in love takes less than an hour (and so does a break up!)
It is not just the love that has gone digital, but lust too. As people’s schedule is packing day by day, the means of satisfying their libido is also changing. Sexting – an amalgamation of sex and text, a word no one knew 10 years ago – is a hot thing today.
No matter what opinion you may have about it, but let’s admit: sext messages are a thing of today, and you will probably be in need of it in future, if not already. That’s why, it becomes all the more important to get you acquainted with it, as well as some tips on it, so you do not end up getting uncomfortable or embarrassed over your sexts. So here are 9 tips you have to keep in mind when sexting a guy:
Start it gradually
Sexting is essentially sex without a physical activity. And the mood for it is only escalated by the foreplay. Hence, make sure you do not just go bang into it straight away. Indeed, sexting is a subtle art and it is important that it begins with delicate sentences before you begin the heightened physical part. Sentences like “I’m slightly tickled by your soft lips over me” could work out. You do not need to be poetic, just a little cautious.
Make sure you know him
This is a general rule of thumb. While meeting the person is preferred, we girls admit that it might not be possible in every case. So it is always advisable to talk to him about various topics of interest before jumping to sexting. This sets up the comfort level with the person, and also tells you what kind of a person he is.
Role playing works
I can never stress that enough. It actually works. People have different fantasies and different obsessions. You can arrive at a common consensus and start a scenario. Whether a boss-employee thing or a distressed friend scenario. The choices are infinite, and go as far as your imagination goes.
Sext with words, not images
This is an important tip for the digital world of today. Many people do get carried away and ask for nudes. But in the age of leaks and endless break-ups, I strongly advise you to NEVER send your revealing photos to anyone, even if he is your boyfriend. Situations change quickly, and no one can guarantee yours or his feelings in the future. Even if it stays that way, you never know who else might be looking in his phone.
Avoid screenshoting or saving messages
I know it is really a tempting proposition when you are in the mood. Something for you to beam on in the future. But honestly, it is neither a good idea nor something you would really refer to. It will just sit there in your phone and make you more vulnerable to other people.
Be as detailed as possible
Since you are writing every action down, it is a good idea to detail things. Starting a sext with you already into the act a minute into it is not a nice idea after all. You need to be a bit graphic in your approach, as it builds a romantic mood as well as ensures your conversations have the potential to last longer and not become monotonous. For instance, you can describe unbuttoning each button of his shirt during a kiss.
Do not discuss it in subsequent ‘normal’ conversations
Obviously, sexting will not be the only thing you will be doing with your partner. There will be many subsequent conversations when you will discuss work, studies, movies, sports or anything else. Do not make a reference to whatever he or you said in the sexting conversation.
We tend to say many things at the climax of emotions, and they should in no way confront us or haunt us during our other schedules or conversations. This will ensure you have a healthy relationship, and no one is judging you for those sexts.
A big mistake many people do while sending sexts is that they do not open up and then complain that sexting does not work for them. It is either a zero or a one. If you worry that sexting will spoil your image, do not do it in the first place.
If you commit to it, then make sure you enjoy it. Speak out your fantasies and what exactly you would like to do at each point in a sexting conversation. Speak up dirty words that excite you – do not let that conscience distract you at each point.
Make sure the conversation goes where you want it to
Remember: sexting can go haywire in multiple ways. What if your partner has bondage fetish and you don’t? At this point, you have to be certain that it stays at a place where you both enjoy it. Do not force sexts just for the sake of your partner. A confident “No honey I am enjoying it more this way” or something similar can help if the situation ever comes to that.
For now, these tips are enough to get you started. These tips work with sexting a girl too. Have a happy and healthy sexting! Feel free to share your experiences and tips, if you have any, in the comments.